You Plus Me Plus Kids
by Seito
Summary: In which Tsuna and Reborn are gods and adopt a bunch of kids. (Alternately: Reborn regrets the day he brought home Skull, setting off a chain of reaction that ends up with him being a father to 9 children. Of course, Tsuna thinks it's the best thing ever.) "Re-Reborn!" "I brought you home a kid." R27 Arcobaleno!Kids


God!AU where Tsuna and Reborn are... Well, gods. But Tsuna kind of wants kids because? It's been an eternity and a half he just really wants a family. So obviously Reborn decides to kidnap some orphans. Either the other Arcobaleno (who are probably 6-8) or Sepira and Kawahira (who are around 7).

Anon prompt request over on tumblr.

Summary: In which Tsuna and Reborn are gods and adopt a bunch of kids. (Alternately: Reborn regrets the day he brought home Skull, setting off a chain of reaction that ends up with him being a father to 9 children. Of course, Tsuna thinks it's the best thing ever.) "Re-Reborn?!" "I brought you home a kid." R27 + Arcobaleno!Kids

* * *

It started with Skull.

Well, no, it started because Tsuna wanted kids and Reborn had trouble telling him no. (That wasn't completely true. Reborn had no problem telling Tsuna no, but this was something Tsuna had been wistfully dreaming about for the last millennium and Reborn just wanted his lover to be happy).

Now, being all powerful gods, it would have been really easy for Tsuna and Reborn to make their own kids, but that took quite a bit of power and the world was having a bit of an energy crisis (among global warming, war, poverty, and other things that Tsuna, bless his bleeding golden heart, worried and fret over).

So Reborn compromised and brought home one of the many orphans that he had found.

"Re-Reborn?!" Tsuna asked, confused as Reborn dumped a small four year old wailing child with purple hair into his arms.

"I brought you home a kid," Reborn said casually as if he had gone to the market to pick up eggs.

"Tell me you didn't kidnap him, Reborn!" Tsuna demanded to know. He cradled the crying child, whispering gentle coos.

"Of course not. He's an orphan. Just escorted his parents to the afterlife, came back and picked him up and brought him home," Reborn said. He flipped open his black book. "His name is Skull in case you're curious and if we don't take him in, he's gonna die in about a month from now."

Naturally, Tsuna didn't accept that.

So their household grew by one.

* * *

Then came Luce.

The flaw in Reborn's grand plan in adopting Skull, was that kids needed nurturing and care. Skull especially was a cry baby by nature. Granted, he was six, but the reason why Reborn had brought him home was because the baby and toddler years were over! This was suppose to be the easiest part of raising kids! (Until puberty hit, but Reborn figured they were old enough to figure it out by themselves.)

However, Skull was afraid of everything ("Poor thing is traumatized by his parents' deaths," Tsuna murmured.) and often ended up running into Tsuna's arms. Tsuna of course dropped whatever he was doing to console the poor boy.

Which meant less cuddle time with Reborn.

If Skull crawled into their bed one more time, Reborn was going to drop kick him out the window.

So Reborn reasoned, another child that could help look after Skull. Maybe an older girl, the motherly type. Checking his black book, Reborn found the perfect family and wandered off with his scythe…

… And returned home with a girl named Luce.

"Reborn," Tsuna asked, peering down at the tiny girl in Reborn's arms. "Who is this?"

"Luce," Reborn introduced. "I figured Skull could use an older sibling...?" _'And a playmate to stop taking away your attention from me,'_ he mentally added.

Tsuna smiled, kissing Reborn on the cheek. "Aww, that's so nice of you." Looking at Luce, Tsuna said, "Hello Luce. I'm Tsuna. If you want, you can live with us?"

The tiny girl nodded, brightly smiling in return.

* * *

After Luce, came Sepira.

Luce was amazing. Just like Reborn predicted, she took to Skull like a duck to water and the two instantly bonded. Reborn got back his cuddle time with Tsuna and things balanced out nicely.

There had been just one little oversight.

Reborn forgot Luce had an older sister. Headstrong and stubborn, Sepira did not handle her baby sister being taken away by a strange man in a black suit and fedora very well. Naturally, being the awesome older sister she was (she was eight after all and a big girl!), Sepira tracked down Luce.

Tsuna and Reborn never quite figured out how she made it past the countless wards that they had around the house. (Or how she even made it to Japan because Reborn had picked up Luce in Italy.)

There was much screaming and fighting until finally Tsuna put his foot down, flaring his powerful aura stunning all three kids and lover. (Said lover was more lovestruck and turned on because Tsuna in his human form was cute and adorable; Tsuna in his godly form was _divine_ and every little show of power was amazing because Tsuna rarely showed off those beautiful orange flames of his).

"Sepira, I'm sorry Reborn took Luce without telling you. Reborn apologize to Sepira," Tsuna said as he picked up a crying Skull and rocked him.

Reborn stared.

"Reborn," Tsuna said in a tone that promised Reborn would be sleeping on the couch if he didn't do this.

The things Reborn did for Tsuna. "I'm sorry," Reborn said to the tiny girl, not feeling very sorry at all.

"Now Sepira. If you want, you can live with us too?" Tsuna offered.

Luce wrapped her hand around her older sister's. "It's really nice here," she said quietly.

Sepira looked at her baby sister. "Okay."

Their family was now five big.

* * *

Until the following night and Sepira's friend Kawahira showed up.

"Why did you follow me?!" Sepira demanded.

"Why did you leave me behind?!" Kawahira said.

Reborn was going to throw them both out the window if he couldn't take Tsuna back to bed soon. In fact… Tsuna was looking extremely tired and that wouldn't do. Reborn picked the two kids up, tossed them into one of the many rooms they had and locked the door. "Figure it out in the morning," he said through the protests, into the door.

No one cut into cuddle time with Tsuna. No one.

* * *

Things settled down for the next couple months. Kawahira never left. Everything was horribly chaotic (and on some level Reborn revel in that) and Tsuna and Reborn's quiet house of two now had four kids. Tsuna beamed happily. It was domestic and sappy, but if Tsuna was happy, Reborn could deal.

Then Tsuna brought home twins: Colonnello and Lal Mirch.

"We already have four," Reborn pointed out to his lover.

"I know, I know," Tsuna said. "But I couldn't leave them there! Their parents were praying really really hard that someone would take care of their kids and and…!"

Reborn held up his hand, cutting off the rest of Tsuna's sentence. Tsuna had a soft heart that went well with his godly abilities so it really wasn't a surprise. (The only surprise was that they had been together for over half an eternity now and this was the first time Tsuna brought home kids. Perhaps Reborn bringing home Skull was the sign Tsuna had been waiting for).

What were two more? It wasn't like they weren't hurting for money or space (like normal families would be). Their duties as gods were easy enough to do and when you were omniscient, it wasn't like you couldn't keep your eye on your job and your kids at the same time.

"No more though," Reborn said. A century or so to raise six kids? Their hands would be full for a while.

Famous last words.

* * *

The next one was a complete accident.

Tsuna and Reborn had taken the kids to the park. Reborn resigned himself to spending the next couple decades being woken up to laughter and the smell of pancakes. So, of course, when Luce asked softly asked to go to the park, Reborn crumpled like a wet towel, because Luce was his favorite because she was _quiet_. (Why were the rest of them so noisy?!)

"Papa, push me on the swing?" Skull asked, tugging at Reborn's pants.

"Me too, kora!" Colonnello exclaimed.

"No fair!" Lal protested. "I wanna be pushed too!"

Reborn sent Tsuna a pleading look of help. Tsuna, the traitor just laughed and pushed Reborn off to the swings with Skull and Colonnello. "Go have fun," Tsuna said.

He picked up Lal. "Lal you'll have to wait your turn. In the meantime, why don't you and I play on the seesaw?"

"Okay Touchan."

Hours later, after tag, hide and seek, up and down the slides, even princess, dragon and castle, they finally made it home. The kids were all tuckered out, napping on the living room floor. Reborn pressed his face into Tsuna's stomach, purring as Tsuna ran his hand through Reborn's hair.

"That was fun," Tsuna said cheerfully. "We should do it again."

Reborn groaned. "How about not?"

"You are the one who said yes to Luce," Tsuna gleefully pointed out.

Reborn just groaned. He turned his head, looking down at the sleeping little terrors when he noticed something odd. Propping himself up on his arms, Reborn asked, "Tsuna, where did the green haired kid come from?"

Cue panic.

* * *

"His name is Verde," Tsuna said, reading from his white book.

"Parents are dead," Reborn said, flipping through his black book. "I vaguely remember escorting them to the afterlife a couple years ago."

Tsuna looked over to where the kids were playing. More specifically to the kitchen table where Verde and Kawahira were hunched over an experiment involving salt shakers, vinegar, baking soda, bleach, food color, chlorine and a glass beaker. Tsuna looked back at Reborn.

"No," Reborn said, already knowing exactly what Tsuna was going to ask.

At that moment, Sepira bounced into the kitchen. "Touchan, Papa, is Verde staying with us?" their eldest girl asked.

"No," Reborn repeated. "We need to take him back to the orphanage before they discover we kidnap him, accidentally."

"You can't do that," Kawahira protested, clearly eavesdropping on the conversation. He hugged Verde tight to his chest. "Who else is going to do experiments with me?"

"It's fine," Verde said, squirming in Kawahira's arms. "Your family is already quite large. I do not wish to add to your burden."

Tsuna threw Reborn a look.

Reborn threw his arms in the air. Weren't Colonnello and Lal suppose to be the last ones?! "Fine. You win, Tsuna. Verde, do you want to stay with us? Trust me, you're not adding to our burden at all."

Hope gleamed in Verde's eyes. Reborn heard the soft breath that Tsuna drew in at the growing hope in Verde's eyes. Tsuna practically lived off of hope. Reborn hummed in approval.

"Really?" Verde asked, softly.

"Really," Reborn said.

What was one more?

* * *

A shopping trip brought the last two members of their family home. Leaving Sepira and Kawahira in charge (as they were the oldest), Reborn and Tsuna departed for the market. It had started to pour as they had left and with a wave of his hand, Reborn had summoned a green umbrella for them both to walk under.

Just as they passed a bus stop bench, Tsuna spotted two bundles huddled under it. Tsuna crouched down, tugging at Reborn's sleeve.

"Reborn, they're burning up," Tsuna said quietly. Two kids, probably no older than Luce's age were soaked to the bone under the bench. One had purple hair, the other jet black.

Reborn did not need his black book to know they wouldn't make it through the night if something didn't happen.

One look into Tsuna's pleading eyes and Reborn caved.

"Fine," Reborn said, already knowing he would not win this battle.

The two children were scooped up and one flash of power later, all four of them were home. (Reborn lamented at the lack of a romantic walk back home in the rain, but Tsuna was in healer mother hen mode and all frivolous things were immediately cut). That also meant Tsuna threw everyone out and started working bring the two newest kids' temperature down.

Which left Reborn to watch seven little monsters by himself.

…

This was not fair.

* * *

Three days later, Fon and Viper were introduced to the family. Their fevers were gone and they met the rest of the kids with wide eyes (or at least in Fon's case. Viper insisted on covering their eyes with their bangs).

"Nine's a good number," Tsuna said. Their kids were nothing, but resilient and Fon and Viper were easily welcomed into their growing family.

"I wanted to stop at six," Reborn grumbled, pressing his face into Tsuna's shoulder. His arms were wrapped around Tsuna's waist, drawing his lover closer.

Tsuna laughed brightly, leaning back against Reborn's taller form. An impromptu game of tag broke out among the kids, causing them to scatter throughout the house. Followed by a loud crash as something inevitably broke… again.

Reborn groaned. Why? Why did he think kids would be a good idea? "They broke something again," Reborn murmured.

"We can fix it," Tsuna said brightly. "Best part about being gods. Practically nothing that we can't fix."

Reborn grumbled. "As long as they don't cut into cuddle time." Cuddle time was important. Reborn got cranky when he didn't get his daily dose of Tsuna.

Tsuna laughed. "Love you too, dear."

Reborn pressed his smile into Tsuna's shoulder. He supposed he could live with this. Tsuna was happy; the kids were bundles of energy; their lives were a chaotic mess. Yes, Reborn was content.

What more could he ask for?

* * *

FYI, Tsuna and Reborn are general opposite/yin&yang gods. Tsuna is life/light/healing/order/etc god. Reborn is death/dark/pain/chaos/etc. Hence the white book (information on living people) and black book (people about to die or already dead). Sepira and Kawahira are the oldest at eight. Then Verde at seven. Luce, Viper and Fon at six. Colonnello and Lal at five. Skull at four.

Ahaha I had so much fun with this one! Please leave a review on your way out!


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